Lessons From Lady Tan’s Circle of Women

I just finished reading Lady Tan’s Circle of Women by Lisa See for the #Journeywomen Book Group. The story revolves around a young Chinese girl, Yunxian, in the late 1400’s and her desire to become a woman doctor. Absorbing the rich historical details and comparing Yunxian’s life to my own, I learned: 

1) If I had been born in an elite family at that time, my feet would be tightly wrapped beginning at the age of 5, crushing the toes and arch to fit into tiny embroidered slippers to enchant my future husband.

I have seen these in museums and they are no more than 4″ long.

Instead, my size 9 feet have danced in tango shoes from Pittsburgh to Paris, Sarasota to San Francisco, even at milongas in Buenos Aires.

2) If I were born into a lower-class Chinese family and my feet were unbound, my big feet would be considered ugly, and I would only be eligible to marry someone from the working class. Worse yet, I could be sold into a life of servitude or prostitution. If I were exceptionally beautiful, I might be sold as a concubine to bear sons for a high-ranking man.

Instead, most of us marry whom we choose, and my long feet have carried me on treks through the Amazon rainforest, from museums in New York to salsa clubs in Puerto Vallarta and many beaches along the way.

3) From birth to age 15, I would reside in the home of my parents and never leave the compound until my arranged marriage to a man I had never seen. Barring unusual circumstances, I would remain in his family compound for the rest of my life.

Instead as a 21st century woman born in the USA, I have traveled, mostly solo, to 41 countries.

4) In Lady Tan’s time, my circle of acquaintances would include only my birth family, close relatives and servants until marriage. Then I would reside with my husband’s family, usually governed by my mother-in-law, thrown in with sisters-in-law, aunts, cousins, servants, all of whom I had never met. I would probably never see my parents or siblings again. The one familiar person would be my personal maidservant who had been given me at birth.

Instead, I am blessed to be part of a large family I see regularly and have a wide network of talented and fascinating friends spanning several countries. 

5) As a woman with an illness in 15th century China, I would be treated by a male doctor who was forbidden to see me, yet who would diagnose me from behind a curtain while a female family member  relayed my symptoms. Women doctors were a rarity. (In Afghanistan today, women cannot be seen by male doctors, and  female healthcare workers cannot practice without a male escort.)

Instead, here in Mexico I have been treated by superb women doctors in five specialties and have access to health care wherever I am with doctors both male and female. 

6) Confucius (bless his heart) believed that educated women were “worthless.” Young women in medieval China were taught to memorize endless duties, as well as embroider, paint or play music.

Instead I was privileged to attend university, choose my major, obtain a Master’s Degree, and take post-graduate courses. And now we have innumerable opportunities to educate ourselves through online classes, podcasts, and public libraries.

If I didn’t appreciate it already, the life of Lady Tan has made me realize even more how fortunate I am to live in this time and place.